Sincerely, The Breakfast Club

I’m having trouble sleeping, because of this cold I’ve got.

One of the many things that is running through my head as I toss and turn:

Why, in the 1980’s John Hughes movie of the same name, did Anthony Michael Hall’s character refer to the group as The Breakfast Club? What was that a reference to? Nothing in the actual movie that I can see. Something in culture? No idea. And it’s always bugged me. Maybe it just sounded cool?

See? See?

I was a Reverend…

I’m crackin’ ’em up, just a like a true Reverend should.

And even holding a vaguely Bible-looking book. Which is really a journal with the script taped to the pages. But from a distance, who knew?

I have no idea who these people are, or why they brought a llama. Freaks.

Views from a Newly Minted Republican

Well, apparently I’m a republican.

At least, the republican party has claimed me, in spite of never having voted republican. Or democrat, for that matter.

They sent me a Republican Party Census Document, where they ask a lot of loaded questions to confirm that all us republican’s are in line behind George W. The letter begins:

“Dear Fellow Republican,

You are among a select group of Republicans who have been chosen to take part in the official CENSUS OF THE REPUBLICAN PARTY.”

A census with great questions like :

“Should small businesses be encouraged to grow and hire more workers?”

Oh dear god no! Down with those small business owners! And their little dogs, too.

“Do you agree that teaching our children to read and increasing literacy rates should be a national priority?”

Screw ’em! What have the little snots done for me?

“Should the inheritance or “Death Tax” be permanently repealed?”

Words are powerful, aren’t they, you pollsters, you? To paraphrase Paula Poundstone, I wish they WOULD tax death, because after taxes, it might be just sort of a tired feeling, really.

“Do you support the President’s efforts to save Social Security and add a prescription drug benefit to Medicare?”

Does the president have any efforts to save Social Security that I can support?

And then at the end, of course they ask for money.

Dweebs.

The Good Reverend Ryan

In the tradition of (who officiated my wedding to ), I’m now an ordained Reverend at good old Universal Life Church. Now I can officiate my friends Anna and Ellen’s ceremony on May 15.

If you visit their site, be careful. You can almost get ordained by accident if you’re not cautious. It’s just a few clicks away.

I’m kind of disappointed… I had heard you could pick your title, and I was hoping to be ordained as a Jedi Master or something like that. Perhaps that’s a different church.

I had a list of options:

Jedi Master
Captain G_d
Soul Man
His Holy Monkeyness
Chaotic-Neutral Cleric

But Reverend’s okay, too.