Friday night I Voiced Scandal! The Improvised Soap Opera at Dad’s. It was not my best night, but overall the show went fairly well.

I had a number of strikes against me going in. I had not seen a single show this season, though I had absentmindedly skimmed the synopsi as they came out each week. But that doesn’t give you a good sense of how the characters interact, plus seeing the actual shows makes more of an impression.

The second strike was that I was very tired.

The third strike was that no one in the show seemed particularly excited by many of the plotlines. I kept getting “Well, this sort of happened a couple weeks back, but we didn’t really pursue it, so you probably shouldn’t worry about it.” There were a couple characters who no one was sure whether they had established them as dead, but were coming back.

The thing is, I have a pet peeve about consistency in Scandal! I believe whatever happens, happens, and you stick with it. I want someone who comes to each show to care about what happens because they know it matters to the plot. If we just pretend things that happened never happened, then you can’t invest in the characters and what’s happening to them. Why do we care if someone is threatened with death if we know later they might decide they never died without comment? It’s just basic storytelling.

I’ll step down off my soapbox.

When I Narrate a show, I like to create a throughline of my own. It ties an episode together, and gives the performers some meat to work with and play off of. This time, my throughline got shot down in the fourth scene. (There are generally 20 or more scenes a night). This season took place on a moonbase/casino (a spinoff of the Space Station season). I had wanted to do a Tribble-parody throughline, but I thought about it too late, so no props. Instead, I wanted a computer virus to slowly infect the moonbase, creating an encroaching chaos feel. I started to set it up. But in the fourth scene, someone said “Oh, I got rid of the virus. No problem.” So, that was that.

But the show went okay.

I went to Gymboree with Roan on Saturday morning, and while it’s the dorkiest thing ever, he loves it. Apparently, this is the first week he’s gotten into it and started participating with the activities, and he did it full-on. He was attracting attention with is enthusiasm. Everything they did: “yay!”

They do a bit where they put all the kids on top of a parachute in the center, and the parents grab the edges and spin the parachute. You never saw such bewildered looks on kids as the floor moves beneath them.

Saturday was the first Colonel Fuddy Duddy’s Bestest Circus Ever. We had a nice, large crowd, and they seemed to enjoy it pretty well. Stacey tells me Roan was scared at first, but by the end he was on the edge of his seat clapping. And that’s really all the feedback I need.

We had a pretty standard issue weekend, except came by for dinner Saturday night, which was nice.

I bought an electric lawnmower, as the rains and laziness have conspired to get our lawn in an unmanageable state with the reel manual mower we have.

At the park with Roan, I overheard a father fail in his telling of a lesbian joke to a neighbor woman. He was discussing some lesbian neighbors of his, and how they have settled into some stereotypical masculine/feminine roles. Then, out of the blue:

Him: Hey, want to hear a lesbian joke?
Her: (obviously uncomfortable) Uh…
Him: It’s a nice one, not offensive.
Her: Well…
Him: Why do lesbians bring a u-ha– wait, no…
Her: What?
Him: Hold on… On their first date, what do Les–, no.
Her: (changing the subject) Have you ever been to Glendale park?
Him: Wait, it’s good. I got it. What do lesbians do on a second date?
Her: (pause) what?
Him: Rent a u-haul.
Her: (blank stare)
Him: It’s funny because… well, they move in together fast. Lesbians.
Her: (pause) They’ve recently renovated Glendale park. It’s really nice.

I almost snorted out loud. On many levels.

Does anyone know where there’s a park with ducks to feed? That’s what’s missing from my life right now.