Dinner conversations

Dinner at home.

RocketBoy: Warnado [a Skylander] is coming down in price. I’m going to wait until it gets really cheap.

Me: That’s a good plan. It’s also good for computers. Buy the computer that was the fastest, hottest thing two years ago.

Stacey: And cars.

Me: And cars.

Stacey: And women. Go for one that’s been turned down by a bunch of guys.

Me: No, you go top of the line with women.

Stacey: And toilet paper.

Me: And toilet paper. Women and toilet paper. Don’t skimp on them.

RB: I think I’ll go for the woman who’s been turned down a lot. If they’re desperate, they’ll like me.

Me: No! You won’t respect a woman who’s desperate. You want one that you respect and will inspire you.

Stacey: Yeah, you want one that’s in your league. An equal.

RB: A desperate woman *will* be in my league.

Stacey: We’re going to work on your self esteem.

Scout: Are you guys talking about Skylanders?

SH*#@ My Family Says, That We Make Into Facebook Statuses

Scout: Is Donna Summer a zombie now? Does she eat brains? Is she going to come and eat my brains?
Ryan: (to Stacey) I wanted to get a daughter with an off button, but *you* said it was too expensive.

Scout: For daddy’s birthday, let’s get him something from that guy who wrote “The Cat in the Hat.” You know…the time traveler guy.

Too many Doctors to keep track.

Today, Scout was climbing on Stacey’s car.
Stacey: Do you think you’re in a rock ‘n roll video?
Scout: Your car isn’t cool enough to be in a rock ‘n roll video.

Wed is talent show day in Mr. K’s class.
RocketBoy: I think I’ll do an improv act. Mr. K can help.
Ryan: Is Mr. K a trained improviser?
RB: He’s a teacher. He improvises just to get through the day!

Stacey: An expression I never said at 9-years-old: When in doubt, google it out!

Scout: Put on Joan Jett’s School Days.
Rocketboy: Uhg! Why do we have to listen to this song?
Scout: I like School Days….even if it’s not as good as Cherry Bomb.

Stacey: Listening to Rocketboy make “zombie sucking your brains out” noises while doing his math homework. Boy knows how to multi-task.

Stacey: If I’ve accomplished nothing else during my career as an arts administrator, I take satisfaction in knowing that I’ve taught my grasshoppers to always pack extra undergarments on gala day. #soggybenefits

Stacey: When my kids play the staring contest game, they call it Weeping Angels.

Me: Scout is growing her hair for kindergarten.
RB: girls with long hair get the boys.
Me: Do you care about getting boys?
Scout: I already got all the boys in pre-K so it’s time for me to move up a level.

Stacey: I thanked Scout for our marathon day of Chinese School Field Day, Inman Park Fest & dinner at Doc Chey’s. She said, “I need to thank you. You’re the one who planned it.” #ihavethebestestkids

Me: So, would you like to see Joan Jett in concert?
Scout: I would LOVE to see Joan Jett in concert! I love her songs so much! (pause) But it will never happen because she’s so old.

Scout: I bet taking care of two kids is a little easier than taking care of an entire farm. #randomthoughtoftheday

Stacey: Do you want to go to Shakespeare’s Birthday or the multi-cultural fair?
Scout: I’ll go to the fair. But, I’ll make a birthday card for Shakespeare. He’ll be very sad that I didn’t make it this year.

Stacey: Recently, Rocketboy and his friends have started solo-roaming the neighborhood on bikes/scooters. They’ll burst into the house, eating and drinking everything in site, and then head out again leaving a path of destruction behind them. I think, “This is my future.” Then I realize, “No, this is actually my present.” It sort of freaks me out.

Scout: So, I’ve thought about it and I don’t want to get a job in The Hunger Games.

Scout: Darn it!
Me: What’s wrong?
S: I’m trying to get the dog to eat my homework and he won’t do it!

The first thing Rocketboy said after a week away: “So, how are The Hunger Games going for you?”

Me (looking for my phone): Rocketboy had it. I took it away from him before he accidentally called someone.
Scout: When I play with your phone, I like to accidentally call [Stacey’s former boss] Richard Garner.

(On the deck, grilling dinner. Rocketboy comes out)
RB: Dad, you may be asking yourself, “what are ‘extra levels’ in Skylanders”?
Me: I might, but what’s more likely is that *you* are asking *yourself*, “Why am I out on the deck in my underwear?”
RB: Oh… yeah.

Me: Hey, Rocketboy, tell your sister I picked up some doughnuts.
RB: Hey Scout! We’ve got doughnuts! And they’re FILLED WITH SUGAR!!

Me: My son doesn’t believe me when I tell him Susan B. Anthony and Lyndon B. Johnson’s middle names were Beatrice, except they didn’t like Beatrice, they just liked B and that’s all. It’s like he *wants* to fail the CRCT.

Scout is drawing.
Me: Who is that in the tree?
scout: You.
me: What am I doing in a tree?
scout: Spying on mommy.
me: why?
Scout: To see if she’s not going to work. (thinks) I should draw her a map to work, so you don’t bust her.

(in the car)
Scout: Are you going to eat your bag of M&Ms?
RocketBoy: No.
Scout: Then I won’t either.
RocketBoy: You should make your own decisions, Scout. Eat them if you want.
Scout: But I need you to eat yours first.
RocketBoy: Why?
Scout: Because if I eat mine, and I see you still have yours, I will be hungry.
RocketBoy: Fine, I’ll eat mine.
Scout: Me, too, then.
RocketBoy: Okay, I’m done.

While playing “store” –
Scout: “I’ll pay with my credit card.”
Ryan J. Lucas: “How will you pay for your credit card bill?”
Scout: “A credit. card. bill.?”
Ryan explains.
Scout: OK, this isn’t a credit card anymore. It’s a gift card.

RB: I’ll prove I’m more knowledgeable than you. What were the names of the people on the Lewis and Clark expedition, not including Sacagawea?

M&Ms in the Car

(in the car)
Scout: Are you going to eat your bag of M&Ms?
RocketBoy: No.
Scout: Then I won’t either.
RocketBoy: You should make your own decisions, Scout. Eat them if you want.
Scout: But I need you to eat yours first.
RocketBoy: Why?
Scout: Because if I eat mine, and I see you still have yours, I will be hungry.
RocketBoy: Fine, I’ll eat mine.
Scout: Me, too, then.
RocketBoy: Okay, I’m done.


RB: I’ll prove I’m more knowledgeable than you. What were the names of the people on the Lewis and Clark expedition, not including Sacagawea?

RB: What should I give up for Lent?
Me: I have decided both of you are giving up your parents for Lent. We’ll go to Maui, and you guys can take care of the house and get yourselves to school.
RB: I… don’t want that.
Scout: *I’m* okay with that.

Weekend ReMix

So, on my bachelor weekend, I turned to hookers and blow.

And by “hookers”, I mean “home projects”.  And by “blow”, I mean “pizza”.

I installed shelving along one wall of the garage, and organized it all.  Hopefully, it will stay that way.  We still have Too Many Things in there, that needs to be addressed.

I worked on the countertop mods around the stove, cutting and staining the wood that will go there.  I removed the backsplash behind the oven, and cleaned and painted the walls.  Painted the cabinet door from the old stove.

All in all, it was about 14 hours of work.  Then did the regular house cleaning and laundry.  It was nice to control my own schedule and just power through the jobs.

Stacey and Scout had a great time with friends in Pigeon Forge, doing a mountain hike and OHMIGODWESWAMINTHEHOTTUB.

They traveled with Scout’s friend L__ and her family up to meet a group of other old friends.  All told, there were about 8 or 9 kids to play with, and the adults could pretty much gab uninterrupted.

On the way home, they stopped somewhere called Goats on the Roof, which had… goats on the roof.  You could feed the goats, reportedly.  There, on the roof.

RocketBoy got back from his world tour.  He said he was sad we weren’t there; He felt like the family should have been with him, at least at Rock City.  I promised we could go back as a family, and he could be our guide.

I dropped him off Saturday morning, and then traveled up to their first stop at the Chattahoochee Nature Center for the Earth Day Kids festival.  Parking was full, so I had to drive two miles away and catch a shuttle.  I missed the first song, and RocketBoy let me know he knew it.

They do a good concert, those kids.  Then they hopped back on the bus to head up to Rock City, a Ronald McDonald house near Chattanooga, and the to the hotel.

At the hotel, RocketBoy couldn’t find his swimsuit (the suitcase is a tiny one… It’s hard to understand why he had to search for “an hour” for it).  Then, once in the pool, he hit his head on the side when someone bumped into him, and had to go back to his room to recuperate.  So, not a lot of swimming to be had there.

He stayed in a room with a counselor and one other boy, who he got to know.  He was nervous he wouldn’t get to know anyone, but he did pal around with two other boys, so all was well.

Sunday morning, they went to a Presbyterian church to perform, and I guess had to listen to the sermon, because he cited a low point as “having to listen to some guy tell a story I didn’t understand about Jesus and some goats.”   I sympathized; I was never clear on the goat story myself.

When he got back from the trip, the director came up to me and said one of the counselors had told her a story about RocketBoy.  I cringed, because “I have a story about RocketBoy” could go either way, quirky kid that he is.

But the story went that when they were done singing at the Ronald McDonald house, he struck up a conversation with a family that was staying there, and heard about their baby daughter who was in the NICU “just like Scout was”.  After he heard that, he went and found an employee of the house and asked to make a donation.  He took a $1 from his “treat money” we gave him, and handed it over, because “they needed it more than I did.”

So, I’m going to stop cringing.

In the final tally, he lost a shoe, but gained someone’s pants, and had a good time, so we’ll call it a win.

It’s turtles, all the way down

A reported conversation between steakums and RocketBoy, on the way to Xmas Carol at the Alliance:

(after hearing a bit of an NPR segment on Jesus)

RB: What was that? Who did they say died and came back to life?

ST: Jesus. Christians believe he died and came back to life, that’s what Easter is in celebration of.

RB: What’s the Easter Bunny about, then?

ST: That’s just something extra, so people who don’t believe in God have something to do on Easter.

RB: Well, I believe in God.

ST: Okay.

RB: Because otherwise, it doesn’t make sense.

ST: What doesn’t make sense?

RB: Well, I mean, who created the first asteroid? The one that exploded?

ST: You mean the Big Bang?

RB: Yes. Who created the first atom? Someone had to. God!

ST: Then who created God?

RB: SuperGod.

ST: I see where this is going.

T minus 2 days and counting…

School lets out this Friday, but Summer broke out from its restraints a week ago as the pool opened and swim team started up. RocketBoy has been doing double swimming duty as he finishes up his YMCA class and starts daily swim practice for the Ragin’ Rays.

He shifts into the 8 & Under this year, but is mired in the Rising Eights group, as he hadn’t mastered Butterfly or Breaststroke by the trials. He seems to have breaststroke under control now, and his form is much better than last year.

Final Cub Scout pack meeting is this Thursday, and he should receive a batch of belt loop badges and a Chess Pin.

Scout is in her second week of the new preschool and seems to be adapting fairly well. steakums reports she chatters a mile a minute on the ride home. She is also in YMCA swim classes and seems to get a kick out of those, too. Her last Music Class was last Sunday, and hopefully she won’t ask to do them again, because we are more or less done with Music Class, as parents. I enjoy how much she enjoys it, and she does, but I’m ready for her to branch out.

RocketBoy has, after much anticipation, received his new bunkbed, with foldout futon on the bottom and twin on top. Unfortunately, he is finding both levels uncomfortable. The bottom, I assume because it’s a thin futon, but the top is just because “it’s weird being so high.” So, we’ve got a puzzle to solve there. Perhaps we need to remove a pea or something.

Rocketboy will be mostly with a nanny this summer, and she has started by picking him up from school this week and taking him to swim team practice, which saves me (and steakums) from the shifted-work-schedule I was doing (7-4). I enjoyed leaving early and swimming while Rocketboy did his thing, but it left steakums solely responsible for getting kids out the door in the morning, which is not a simple matter for two adults.


I broke down today and ordered the D&D Basic Game (2006). Learning to play the Pokemon game with RocketBoy awakened some long, looong dormant inner TSR geek and the cool figures and simplicity of the Basic Game have acted like a siren song for several weeks now.

I’ve also been working on a couple WebComic ideas for a few months now. The first few pages are taking an eternity to complete for lack of good long stretches of time to work on them. You want to do about 20-30 minutes of warmup before doing actual drawing, and I’m lucky to get 20 minutes total at a time. But, I’ve got no deadline. The beach. I look forward to the beach, for its somewhat copious amounts of free time.