Last Week in Scandal!<\/b>
\nEpisode 4: Homeland Insecurity
\nSynopsis by Erich Mees<\/p>\n
Starring<\/p>\n
George Faughnan as Eric von Landingham
\nZ Gillispie as Rory Manchester
\nMatt Horgan as Poncey Highland
\nAmber Nash as Dorothy
\nTim Stoltenberg as Lance Belligui
\nLucky Yates as Miller
\nwith special guest stars
\nEugene Cordero as Chip Blingo
\nSean Daniels as Agent John Denver
\nand a surprise appearance by Chris Blair as the Nuge
\nwith Ryan Lucas as The Voice<\/p>\n
\nAfter the murder of Chrysanthemum Kennedy, the investigation was being
\nincorporated into the show. Cameraman Lance Belligui introduced the
\nhousemates to Homeland Security Agent John Denver (no relation). Denver
\nassured everybody that, before the end of the night, he would find the
\nkiller\u2026or at least someone he could claim was the killer.<\/p>\n
Denver began by questioning Poncey Highland while Poncey showed him around
\nChrysanthemum\u2019s room. Poncey was convinced that it was a hate crime, since
\nshe\u2019d been killed moments after declaring her love for Dorothy. Poncey
\nsuspected Eric von Landingham, since he\u2019d noticed some unstable behavior
\nfrom Eric ever since their liaison two weeks ago.<\/p>\n
At the bar, Dorothy was still reeling from the shock of her new best
\nfriend dying in her arms. Eric suggested that she forget her sorrows by
\ncoming to see his band \u201cFucked at Birth\u201d at their upcoming gig.<\/p>\n
Miller was getting high up on the roof when Lance came up for some fresh
\nair. Lance noticed the unusual pipe Miller was smoking from, and asked to
\ntry it. As Lance smoked, Miller picked up Lance\u2019s camera and asked him
\nwhat he really thought about everyone at the Scandal house. His
\ninhibitions lost, Lance called them all assholes.<\/p>\n
Rory Manchester was relaxing when boy-band star Chip Blingo came by. Chip
\nexplained that he had been thrown out of his own neighboring reality show,
\nand needed another chance to prove himself. Rory said that Chip\u2019s vocal
\ntalents (and self-generating background music) were just what he needed to
\ncheer up, since a woman he cared for had just died of a spontaneous
\nneck-break. (Rory neglected to mention that he was the one who
\n\u201cspontaneously\u201d broke it.)<\/p>\n
Agent Denver was interviewing Dorothy by the garbage cans. She was certain
\nthat Rory was the killer, and suggested that they give him a taste of some
\nstreet justice by cutting off his feet and wrapping him in seaweed.
\n(\u201cHe\u2019ll tell you everything\u2026and then bleed to death.\u201d)<\/p>\n
While grocery shopping, Poncey confronted Eric about his strange behavior.
\nEric confessed that he did have a guilty conscience\u2026not over murder, but
\nbecause he\u2019d never told his mother than he loved her. Poncey comforted him
\nby offering to role-play Eric\u2019s mother. Eric asked Poncey to pull on his
\nnipples to make the impersonation more convincing.<\/p>\n
Chip Blingo was moving in when Miller entered. Recognizing Chip (after
\ninitially mistaking him for a troll doll), Miller proclaimed that he\u2019d
\nsold more weed at Chip\u2019s last concert than in the rest of the year
\ncombined.<\/p>\n
Rory was doing the show\u2019s confession-booth segment when he noticed that
\nLance was trying to film him with a bong instead of a camera. The wasted
\nLance gloated that he knew Rory had killed Chrysanthemum, and he had the
\nproof on film. Where Rory asked where this proof was, Lance realized that
\nMiller had it now. Rory insinuated that Lance was making unfounded
\naccusations to draw suspicion away from himself. Before long, Lance was
\nconvinced of his own guilt.<\/p>\n
Chip was relaxing in the hot tub when Dorothy came by. Recognizing Chip,
\nshe began singing one of his songs. Chip told Dorothy that his last
\nreality show was filled with ruthless competition, and he was amazed by
\nhow friendly everyone was here. Dorothy agreed that it was great, except
\nfor people getting murdered.<\/p>\n
Miller was filming Poncey in the kitchen, childishly trying to goad Poncey
\ninto making a \u201ctossed salad\u201d reference. When Poncey noticed that Miller
\nhad Lance\u2019s camera, Miller explained that he\u2019d gotten hold of it while
\nLance was hitting the bong. (\u201cHe thought it was tobacco product, like they
\nmake you say when you buy it.\u201d) Now that he had the camera and access to
\nthe editing room, Miller suggested that they give the footage some
\ntweaking.<\/p>\n
After drummer Eric von Landingham gave his bandmates a pep talk, \u201cFucked
\nat Birth\u201d began their hard-rockin\u2019 concert.<\/p>\n
Even down in the basement, Agent Denver and Lance were stunned by the
\nloudness and rage of the music. Denver confided that he had found three
\nparticularly suspicious characters in his investigation. (\u201cRory may be a
\nkiller, Poncey may be gay, and Chip may be ethnic.\u201d) Denver said that he
\nmight have to resort to extreme interrogation tactics. Lance offered to
\nget the seaweed.<\/p>\n
Rory went to the Hello Pizza Kitty to see Miller about Lance\u2019s film. He
\nconvinced Miller that he was in trouble for editing the tapes, and
\npersuaded him to hand over the camera.<\/p>\n
Dorothy was hanging out her laundry on the roof when Poncey came by to
\nvoice his concerns about the investigation. After hearing Eric\u2019s angry,
\ndeath-obsessed music, he was more convinced than ever that Eric was the
\nkiller. Dorothy deduced that Poncey was just upset because Eric had
\nrejected him after their initial make-out session.<\/p>\n
Eric was in the bar when Agent Denver entered, looking for Chip Blingo.
\nDisdainful of authority, Eric refused to cooperate. Denver warned him that
\nhe could put away Eric and his entire band. (\u201cLet me explain how Homeland
\nSecurity works. You\u2019re ALREADY in trouble.\u201d) Eric caved in and directed
\nDenver to Chip\u2019s room.<\/p>\n
Two seconds later, Denver broke down the door to Chip\u2019s room. After Denver
\nordered him to get down on the floor, Chip retorted that no matter how
\nDenver hurts him, it would only make his music stronger. Denver responded
\nby cutting off Chip\u2019s feet.<\/p>\n
Rory called everyone (even the footless Chip) together to announce the
\nsolution to Chrysanthemum\u2019s murder. Explaining that the key to the mystery
\nwas the fact that all the different reality shows are filmed in this same
\nneighborhood, Rory began the slow-motion playback of the (secretly edited)
\nvideo footage. The footage showed Chip Blingo and Ted Nugent running in,
\nsinging a Satanic song while dancing around Chrysanthemum, and snapping
\nher neck to seal the pact\u2026all too fast for the human eye to see. Denver
\ntook the mortally-wounded Chip into custody. Now that the murder of
\nChrysanthemum Kennedy was solved, Agent Denver set out to solve the rest
\nof the Kennedy murders. Rory saved time by revealing them all: John F.
\nKennedy was killed by Ving Rhames, Bobby by Yahoo Serious, and Ted Kennedy
\nwill be killed by Agent Denver himself. With this revelation, Rory snapped
\nDenver\u2019s neck. Dorothy, shocked by the carnage and craziness, began crying
\nhysterically, longing for her old home behind the dumpster at Wendy\u2019s.<\/p>\n
TO BE CONTINUED\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Last Week in Scandal! Episode 4: Homeland Insecurity Synopsis by Erich Mees Starring George Faughnan as Eric von Landingham Z Gillispie as Rory Manchester Matt Horgan as Poncey Highland Amber Nash as Dorothy Tim Stoltenberg as Lance Belligui Lucky Yates … Continue reading