Monthly Archives: June 2004

Just the greatest insult

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From a Fool Board. I don’t even know what the conversation was about, but this is just a great, snarky comeback to whatever they’re arguing about:

RJ SUX!! DK RULEZZZ! YO MAMA PLAYZ WITH MY JOYSTICK!!

Pardon me Mr Knife (if that is your real name),

I would like to draw your attention to the fact that your abilities are of an extraordinarily low standard, even by the already low standards of a certain commonly-ridiculed ethnic group to which I infer you belong. Indeed, your competence is so demonstrably lacking as to allow me to draw certain conclusions regarding your sexual orientation and the size of your reproductive organ. It is my considered opinion that any attempt to pit your underdeveloped faculties against my demonstrably and unquestionably far superior talents would cause you to lament copiously in the manner of a young child of the female gender, and retreat to your place of residence to seek solace with a member of your immediate family on the maternal side. You would do well to heed my words on this subject, you perpetrator of incestuous acts.

Respectfully,

FogChicken

Book Log – Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim

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Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim by David Sedaris.

Awesome. Simply awesome. However, too short. As all of his stuff is. I got this book this morning, and I’m done. hour and a half at the DMV, an hour at lunch, and 15 minutes at the end of the day and poof! no more book to read.

Thank goodness I have The Confusion at home waiting for me which, if it’s anything like the first volume Quicksilver, will take me 3 months to read.

And I forgot, my mom got me The Well of Lost Plots, Jasper Fforde’s latest Thursday Next book. The first two were good mind candy reading. Nothing really brilliant, but an interesting universe where they have time-travel but not Jet airplanes.

I fear change.

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So I went to Atlanta Bread Company for lunch, and discovered to my dismay that it had been turned into a porn shop some time in the past couple months. In conservative Roswell, GA!

I thought they might have some edible underwear or something, but after some consideration just went to Chipotle instead.

Book Log – How to Buy & Manage Rental Properties

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How to Buy & Manage Rental Properties by Irene and Mike Milin.

Some good info, but a lot of it is out of date. Written in the 80’s when interest rates were 10-12%, and you could do things like assumable mortgages. And people couldn’t afford to buy houses on their own.

They advocate finding meek tenants who won’t assert their rights. Gives me a bit of the heebie-jeebies.

Not-So-Folly in Georgia

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So, the Fool message boards are generally pretty intelligent, and often humorous.

However, it seems the the Folly In Georgia board is almost completely lacking a sense of humor. I’m embarrassed for my adopted state (as I often am).

This is not a very frequented board, and posts have never garnered more than 10 recommendations. (On the Fool Boards, you can recommend a post, and everyone has a limited number of recs a day). The most recommended post was someone asking where to stay/eat/visit in Georgia (10 recs), and the responses (9,8,7 recs). The next most recommended was a post that simply said “Good Afternoon Georgia” (6 recs). So, a low bar here, entertainment wise.

Someone posts a question, can anyone recommend a good maid service in Atlanta. Several folks responded with the types of prices to expect to pay ($60/hour), and the original poster balked.

So I replied:


Ooo! Ooo! I’ve got a devious idea!

At Dad’s Garage Theater, we used to use people who were sentenced to do community service to clean the joint. DUI offenders and stuff like that.

So register your place as a not-for-profit company, and get yourself some reprobates to do the spit shine!

If you want to make it legit, you could do a little puppet show in the kitchen or something for the local kids.

~dinoczar
who’s full of terrible ideas

Slightly witty, no recs though. But the punchline is, here’s a reply:


At Dad’s Garage Theater, we used to use people who were sentenced to do community service to clean the joint. DUI offenders and stuff like that.

So you want to allow convicts with petty theft and other bad life choice backgrounds into your home?

Fuskie

This post garnered 2 recs, and she didn’t even get the joke.

*sigh* Philistines.