Category Archives: Uncategorized

When Conservatives are Conservative

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Reddit had this link:

Marriages for none, civil unions for all.

That’s some conservativeness I can get behind. It neatly solves the professed problem of keeping “marriage” “sacred”.

I’ve stated elsewhere that I think there should be as many types of legal civil unions as there are legal corporate organizations. You can form an S or C corp, an LLP, LLC, or a sole proprietorship, but you’ve only got one (possibly two in some states) types of civil contracts.

So, whoever’s in charge of that… make that happen, okay? Thanks.

Why I Won The Debate

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I’ve heard arguments back and forth as to who won the final presidential debate last night. I’m surprised the pundits are overlooking my obviously superior performance.

I did not once go negative all evening. Not even when steakums asked me to walk the dog before going to bed.

I never once claimed that No Child Left Behind was “the first time we had looked at the issue of education in America from a nationwide perspective.” Because I’m pretty sure we have a federal Department of Education that looks at the issue of education in America from a nationwide perspective at least once a day. Maybe twice if they take a short lunch.

I remained poised, confident and relaxed at all times. Also, I had graham crackers.

William Ayers does not live anywhere near my neighborhood, though in the interest of full disclosure, there are some domestic terrorists who occasionally egg my car. To my knowledge, they have never had a meet-and-greet for me in their home.

I did not once reference Joe the Plumber.

I represented myself as a family man by cleaning up the cups of Play-Doh my daughter left lying around.

When asked a question, I answered directly without talking around the issue. “Will you walk the dog before going to bed?” Yes, yes I most certainly will, without precondition.

FactCheck.org has found no misrepresentations in any of my statements.

I have shown bipartisanship throughout much of my life by wearing blue shoelaces on one foot, and red on the other.

Yes, my friends, I think I’ve got this one sewn up.

Scale Matters vs. The Invisible Hand

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Bear Stearns, the Macs, AIG… all were Too Big To Let Fail.

So, the question that has been bouncing about in my brain for a few months now is… if they’re Too Big To Fail, are they just Too Big?

I’m a fan of capitalism. I think that Adam Smith’s Invisible Hand is a primarily benevolent force. But I also believe that time and time again, Scale Matters.

You shouldn’t fear that radiation will cause a preying mantis to grow to 50 feet tall and begin smashing buildings, because Scale Matters, and the exoskeleton structure just doesn’t work at those sizes.

I was going to say something about spider-web (strongest natural fiber in the world) not scaling up, but maybe it will.

Wal-Mart succeeds so spectacularly because Scale Matters.

So… does Smith’s Invisible Hand formula become unstable when certain elements producing the Hand become oversized?

I feel like some mathematics need to be brought to bear on these large companies. When the numbers get large enough to threaten systemic failure, does the Hand need a nudge from regulation? In addition to Monopoly laws, do we need Size laws?

Size Laws would be complicated to be sure. A Bear Stearns-type failure might be more “impactful” than a WalMart-type failure, even if they had comparable sums of money involved.

Or is the press just Chicken Little-ing because folks who report on P/E ratios all day long are hungry for the Big Story? Is the government stepping in and preventing a severe but manageable correction (handleable by the Hand) to prevent folks from panicking in an election year?

I don’t have enough data to form a confident opinion. But it seems on the face that Too Big To Fail is To Big To Be.

Uncle Grampa’s Hoo Dilly Titles

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For those of you who don’t know, I do a show at a local theater in Atlanta (Dad’s Garage Theater) called Uncle Grampa’s Hoo-Dilly Storytime.

The premise is that a monkey, a robot, a man in lederhosen, their butler and a guest character1 all get together in the Hoo Dilly house2 to act out an improvised story for the kids, with copious amounts of audience participation. The title for the episode’s story is taken from a spinning wheel with four potential titles on it. A kid spins the wheel, so if the story doesn’t work out, it is that child’s fault. Or so we say backstage.

We usually make up the titles in the green room before the show. But one of the cast members, in preparation for our opening on September 27, started throwing out title ideas via email, and I responded with same:

Sneakers The Crime Solving Dog
Once Upon A Time in Cleveland
The Princess and the Peanut
Ol’ Uncle Crabby Gets a Unicorn
Mouse Trouble
Once Upon a Time In Space
Oh no, it’s Vikings!
Bizz Buzz in Hive Five!

The Hopscotch Bandits
The Princess of Candy
The Super Duper Spies and the Mystery of The Whatzitcalledagain
Four Days Before Christmas
The Snow Day and the Yeti
Pony Loses His Saddle
Monster School
Disaster! The Musical

Got any ideas? Put ’em in the comments.

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1 New to the cast this year will be a donkey and a duck.
2 Left to the man in lederhosen by his Uncle Grampa, who is played by a former president of the United States.

Video Killed the Telephone Star

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I just have to say, I’m sure this is going to come back and bite me at some point, but I am totally stoked about this video conferencing I now have at my desk at work.

I just dial some one like regular on my phone, and if the person I’m calling has the same camera/software on his or her computer, video of them pops up on my screen automatically. No muss, no fuss, it just works.

Love it. LOVE IT.

I may never have to leave my desk again.