a while back i posted about words you can type with one hand… i believe it was decided to call them qwerds.
here are some left handed qwerds:
erase start red great fart greet qwerd aware
i only bring it up because this afternoon as i was thinking how nice it was to have an afternoon with nothing to do, i dropped a glass. as it fell i grabbed for it, and the glass, my hand, and the counter all collided at an unfortunate time. a huge gush of blood and a pile of gauze later, i was in the emergency room with a huge deep cut going from where the thumb and index finger meet across the palm to the side of the thumb.
and when i say deep, i mean deep. the triage nurse, er nurse and doctor were all light-hearted banter until they actually looked at the cut… and the mood changed to quiet awe. “wow… that’s a really deep cut,” they each said.
“i like to be thorough,” i replied each time.
the doctor was very concerned until he could verify i had not sliced a tendon. apparently the angle of the cut was just right to avoid it.
after four hours and a very uncomfortable procedure involving 12 stitches, the nurse was cleaning me up and giving me instructions not to use the hand until the followup on monday (ordinarily, they would just have me back to cut the stitches out in 10-12 days, but as they kept telling me, it is a very deep cut).
Nurse: so what do you do for a living?
me: i am an engineer.
nurse: oh. well, not this week you aren’t.
so, i’m learning to do things left-handed. did you know that it is possible to lather and rinse your left armpit with your left hand in a pinch? also, i did not know that handedness applied to brushing your teeth.
there are many other side stories to this which slow typing prevents me from chronicling, but one tidbit was my doctor used to be a computer programmer but got out of it because he was being pushed into management. i’m not sure quite what to make of that. i’ll leave it as an exercise for the reader1.
i guess those leaves are going to stay in my gutter for another week. i’m all broken up about it.
1 also a qwerd.
i’m learning to do things left-handed.
Like that’s so hard. and I have been doing that all our lives.
my respect for you both has deepened.
now will you open this jar?
Also, you left out the longest and most famous of all qwerds:
stewardesses.
now they prefer to be called fgt attedats.
Or you could voice recognition software, like I tried to do below….
A rising tide with your right hand rather than User let you can try using the voice recognition software Microsoft were in school and really accurate and the CPU is a new senior right now know that’s not what I said I said it’s really accurate and you can use it right now that’s better than a start over revenues to write and you can use the voice recognition I’d say it’s easy to see if you look into ways to start over damage and no ice and let me start over the issue not the issue at stake but they shouldn’t stop typing of the issue I said, this shouldn’t bother not bother us the word is a dead not dead and the master the bomb in the bullpen only get a file a suit by
NOTE* Whenever it says “the issue” that was me saying “Fuck this shit” and being annoyed that it could not recognize such a common expression of the MS Office user community.
Re: Or you could voice recognition software, like I tried to do below….
what on earth is that software?
Re: Or you could voice recognition software, like I tried to do below….
Microsoft office has language tools in ore recent versions including a dictation function. From MS Word, try Tools, Languages, and click the dictation button on the tool bar.
OW OW OW OW OW
That was a remarkably well-written post considering you only had the use of one hand.
i’m really fast at typing stewardesses.
Like I told Stacy, if you need to reschedule a meeting, JUST TELL ME. No need for blood and drama.
Now, one question, are you writing this post as an actor? Or as an engineer? Because actors tend to be, you know dramatic.
ouch! i am typing this left-handed as a show of solidarity. it is a slow task.
stewardesses.
Power, brother.