Category Archives: Uncategorized

Just the greatest insult

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From a Fool Board. I don’t even know what the conversation was about, but this is just a great, snarky comeback to whatever they’re arguing about:

RJ SUX!! DK RULEZZZ! YO MAMA PLAYZ WITH MY JOYSTICK!!

Pardon me Mr Knife (if that is your real name),

I would like to draw your attention to the fact that your abilities are of an extraordinarily low standard, even by the already low standards of a certain commonly-ridiculed ethnic group to which I infer you belong. Indeed, your competence is so demonstrably lacking as to allow me to draw certain conclusions regarding your sexual orientation and the size of your reproductive organ. It is my considered opinion that any attempt to pit your underdeveloped faculties against my demonstrably and unquestionably far superior talents would cause you to lament copiously in the manner of a young child of the female gender, and retreat to your place of residence to seek solace with a member of your immediate family on the maternal side. You would do well to heed my words on this subject, you perpetrator of incestuous acts.

Respectfully,

FogChicken

I fear change.

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So I went to Atlanta Bread Company for lunch, and discovered to my dismay that it had been turned into a porn shop some time in the past couple months. In conservative Roswell, GA!

I thought they might have some edible underwear or something, but after some consideration just went to Chipotle instead.

Not-So-Folly in Georgia

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So, the Fool message boards are generally pretty intelligent, and often humorous.

However, it seems the the Folly In Georgia board is almost completely lacking a sense of humor. I’m embarrassed for my adopted state (as I often am).

This is not a very frequented board, and posts have never garnered more than 10 recommendations. (On the Fool Boards, you can recommend a post, and everyone has a limited number of recs a day). The most recommended post was someone asking where to stay/eat/visit in Georgia (10 recs), and the responses (9,8,7 recs). The next most recommended was a post that simply said “Good Afternoon Georgia” (6 recs). So, a low bar here, entertainment wise.

Someone posts a question, can anyone recommend a good maid service in Atlanta. Several folks responded with the types of prices to expect to pay ($60/hour), and the original poster balked.

So I replied:


Ooo! Ooo! I’ve got a devious idea!

At Dad’s Garage Theater, we used to use people who were sentenced to do community service to clean the joint. DUI offenders and stuff like that.

So register your place as a not-for-profit company, and get yourself some reprobates to do the spit shine!

If you want to make it legit, you could do a little puppet show in the kitchen or something for the local kids.

~dinoczar
who’s full of terrible ideas

Slightly witty, no recs though. But the punchline is, here’s a reply:


At Dad’s Garage Theater, we used to use people who were sentenced to do community service to clean the joint. DUI offenders and stuff like that.

So you want to allow convicts with petty theft and other bad life choice backgrounds into your home?

Fuskie

This post garnered 2 recs, and she didn’t even get the joke.

*sigh* Philistines.

Sincerely, The Breakfast Club

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I’m having trouble sleeping, because of this cold I’ve got.

One of the many things that is running through my head as I toss and turn:

Why, in the 1980’s John Hughes movie of the same name, did Anthony Michael Hall’s character refer to the group as The Breakfast Club? What was that a reference to? Nothing in the actual movie that I can see. Something in culture? No idea. And it’s always bugged me. Maybe it just sounded cool?

Wednesdayish

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Up until 12:51 PM, I seriously believed that today was Wednesday.

The only reason I found out otherwise was that the K-Chronicles hasn’t been updated on Salon.

What was I thinking?

Views from a Newly Minted Republican

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Well, apparently I’m a republican.

At least, the republican party has claimed me, in spite of never having voted republican. Or democrat, for that matter.

They sent me a Republican Party Census Document, where they ask a lot of loaded questions to confirm that all us republican’s are in line behind George W. The letter begins:

“Dear Fellow Republican,

You are among a select group of Republicans who have been chosen to take part in the official CENSUS OF THE REPUBLICAN PARTY.”

A census with great questions like :

“Should small businesses be encouraged to grow and hire more workers?”

Oh dear god no! Down with those small business owners! And their little dogs, too.

“Do you agree that teaching our children to read and increasing literacy rates should be a national priority?”

Screw ’em! What have the little snots done for me?

“Should the inheritance or “Death Tax” be permanently repealed?”

Words are powerful, aren’t they, you pollsters, you? To paraphrase Paula Poundstone, I wish they WOULD tax death, because after taxes, it might be just sort of a tired feeling, really.

“Do you support the President’s efforts to save Social Security and add a prescription drug benefit to Medicare?”

Does the president have any efforts to save Social Security that I can support?

And then at the end, of course they ask for money.

Dweebs.