Well, it’s the last night before we journey up to see you guys for the parent overnight trips. It’s possible you’ve already seen us by the time you get this email. In fact, we may be standing RIGHT BEHIND YOU.
Things have been pretty eventful here, though from the letters Andrew and Little write about camp, it seems like you guys have been having a busy time as well.
You’re probably wondering how the whole unicorn thing turned out. You may have already seen us at camp, and asked “How did the unicorn thing turn out?” To which we probably replied, “Wait for the letter. It explains everything.” So here’s the letter.
Yesterday, Star-sky and Hootch the Chimeras, the Grey Unicorns and your mom and I rode over to the house in an FBI van. There was all sorts of equipment in there… body heat scanners, tazer guns, magic detectors, gummy bears, stun grenades… just everything you’d expect in a high-tech van like that. Except for cup holders. I really thought there would be cup holders. Frankly, I was a bit disappointed in that.
So, we parked outside the house, and it was obvious that the White Unicorns were having a housewarming party inside. Lots of music, disco balls, cheese dip. It made me so mad, I almost dropped my can of Coke, which I couldn’t set down because, y’know, no cup holders.
Anyway, Star-sky, who’s the brains of the outfit, gives the signal and we all pile out of the van and spread across the front yard, real sneaky-like. We were wearing regulation FBI sneakers just for that reason.
Hootch gets on the loudspeaker and warns them that the gig is up, they’re surrounded, and they need to come out peacefully and leave. The music inside shuts off, and a bunch of White Unicorns come to the window and look real scared when they see us and the FBI van, which they know is full of all kinds of high-tech stuff, not to mention gummy bears, in case we get hungry.
We watch them arguing, and then one of the Grey Unicorns that has gone around back reports that one of the White Unicorns is frantically writing an email to someone. I’m not sure who, but I guess we’ll never know, since they deleted all the emails they sent.
Star-sky tells them that time is up, and they don’t come out. So the Chimeras and Grey Unicorns bust in through the front door. Star-sky asked your mom and I to stay outside, because that is the toughest job, to stand outside and make sure none of the Unicorns gets away. He said that only the bravest and most skilled get the waiting outside job. You’re probably pretty impressed by that. Right?
All we see is a bunch of rainbows shooting out the windows and whinnies and neighs and tazer sounds and something that sounds like a snake roaring, which is an odd sound in itself.
Finally, it quiets down, and your mom and I can’t wait outside anymore. We go in, and the White Unicorns are all in handcuffs and the Chimeras and Unicorns are giving each other High Ones and eating celebratory gummy bears.
Hootch has a big cut on his shoulder, and it looks pretty painful. I point out that the Unicorn horn has magical healing properties according to the CDC, and he’s all “awesome!” and rubs it on a White Unicorn’s horn, and it totally healed!
Pinky the White Unicorn looks at me and asks, “What’s that Coke for?”
I tell him there was no cup holder in the van, and he gets all angry and yells at his buddy, “Why didn’t you TELL me they didn’t have cup holders? We could have used that to our advantage!”
But it’s too late, and now everyone has cleared out, and we’ve cleaned up the hoof prints and Sprite cans.
Just in time to get packed for the overnights. It’ll be good to get back to normal around here.
Just as soon as we deal with the magical spiders.
See you soon!